not so desperate housewife

One of the things I’m most excited about in coming months (other than the new baby of course) is the day I finish work. 

And if I have my way, I won’t be heading back to traditional paid employment at all.  Ever.

I’ve felt guilty about my lack of career love since entering the workforce, pretty much. 

After finishing uni I was brimming with optimism and enthusiasm for my new career.  Except that my new career never really came along.

Sure, I’ve had jobs.  Some I’ve even liked, for a little while.  I’ve even returned to uni in a bid to foster more enthusiasm and/or discover my calling.

But after all this time and study, finally I’ve come to the realisation that perhaps a career isn’t for everyone – at least it’s not necessarily for me. 

picture courtesy of Alice Jean's Vintage Living in a Modern World

And while I feel happy for friends who have enthusiasm and a genuine love for their work, I no longer feel guilty for not feeling the same way.

I’d say about 90% has to do with my upbringing (and the other 10% the overwhelming boredom that hits me after a few months in any job – I’m beginning to suspect a form of undiagnosed ADHD). 

My own mum never worked in paid employment, at least not when I was growing up.  That isn’t to say she was lazy, not in the least. She worked harder than many ‘working’ mums I knew of – keeping a spotless and beautifully decorated home, making our clothes (and as an ex-fashion designer she made some beauties), creating an abundant and relaxing garden, ferrying me and my three siblings to music lessons, dance classes, sporting events etc, providing a seemingly never ending variety of delicious and healthy meals each night (along with breakfasts and packed lunches), looking after household admin and some aspects of my dad’s business, and most of all always being there as an infinite source of love, affection and support.

Of course we kids never appreciated all this consciously until we were older.  Truth be told I was always so jealous of a classmate who lived on our street who had her own key to let herself in the door from third grade – oh, what freedom!  But in hindsight I know I would have preferred what I had.

Now I’m not saying you can’t do all this AND have a career (and I truly take my hats off to those who do) but for me personally I’d never be able to ‘have it all’ – something would have to give, or else everything would be done half-heartedly, and no doubt wearily!

And while I don’t disparage anyone who needs a career to feel fulfilment, I don’t feel that way myself. 

Whether we can afford for me not to work I don’t know. 

It will probably come down to the number of kids we have and, if I decide to go back to work what kind of salary I’d be looking at – I wouldn’t be keen on working if all my hard earned dollars went on daycare and takeaways.

Who knows how I’ll feel about this issue once I’ve been away from the workplace for a while – my boss is convinced I’ll be begging to return after a few months.  Will just have to wait and see.

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6 Responses to “not so desperate housewife”

  1. I’m going through that entire thought-process as well, the whole career vs baby thing. And yeah, wondering if I really am that Corporate Beatch I always thought I was, or if I’d fall in love with motherhood and never want to go back. Particularly since we’re located in Canberra and – let’s face it – it’s rather a dearth for exciting jobs, if you’re not in public service.

    The other thing I’ve been told before is that women CAN have everything – career, babies, nice house, etc – but the trick is not to try and do it all at once. I don’t know why we’re so hardwired nowadays to want to be Power-everything… but I’m personally considering what I want to excel at, in this new chapter of my life.

    BTW… when are you due? It sounds like we’re only a few weeks apart.

    • It’s certainly a tough call! Im convinced I want to be a domestic goddess 🙂 but will wait and see, Ive heard of women having mental breakdowns (of a sort) and getting desperate to get back into the office!
      Just finished my masters of media so, although am not in any kind of journalistic work now, the dream would be to do some freelancing (working at home in between tending to the veggie patch while baby plays in the garden…ahhhh).
      Im due 2 June…feels like it’s been ‘four months to go’ for forever now. You?
      PS I love reading your posts, do something writing related! Maybe we will become self made blogging millionairesses (I’ll file that under ‘d’ for dreams for now).

  2. You’re about a month ahead of me. I’m due 27 June. :o) Feeling more kicks now? I’m going for the 20-week ultrasound tomorrow.

    • Have fun at the ultrasound – so exciting! I dont have much of an imagination so couldnt (and still can’t) tell head from tail in the image, still fun though. Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or girl?
      And yep, feeling more kicks – not as regular as I would like but I think that’s normal at this stage.

  3. YES, I’m day-dreaming about freelancing too. (I’m in Marketing Comms, but more on the web side of things.) And yes! We should totally become self-made hawt blogging millionnaire mommas. I would love to monetize my blog… one day. :o)

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